Overflow!

[lunasariel]

I should probably save this one for my next post, because I'm winding up for a full-scale ramble on Downton Abbey. RG, who shares our Netflix, has stuff out all week, so it looks like I won't be able to watch Babylon 5 while I'm here, otherwise I would already be rambling about that. >:(

Instead, have another meme! This time it's...Monty Python's Flying Circus another randomized character meme!

1. Rupert Giles (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
2. Klia (Nightrunner)
3. Hank “Beast” McCoy (X-Men all incarnations, especially XMFC)
4. Susan Ivanova (Babylon 5)
5. Jayne Cobb (Firefly)
6. Yavanna (The Silmarillion)
7. Bobby Singer (Supernatural)
8. Olenna Tyrell (A Song of Ice and Fire)
9. The 9^th Doctor (Doctor Who)
10. Lily Potter (Harry Potter)
11. Maximus (Temeraire)
12. Charity Carpenter (Dresden Files)
13. Morrolan e’Drien (Vlad Taltos)
14. Angua von Uberwald (Discworld)
15. Raoul of Goldenlake (Tortall universe)

1) 6 (Yavanna) and 11 (Maximus) go shopping for a birthday present for 14 (Angua). What do they buy, and why is it appropriate?
Assuming that Yavanna knows about Angua being a werewolf (because, hey, goddess), but Maximus (who couldn’t keep a secret even if he wanted to) doesn’t: Maximus opts for jewelry, of course, because for some reason humans don’t like being given cows, and aside from cows, what’s better than something expensive and shiny? I could see Yavanna being on board with the jewelry idea; she could even get Aüle to make it!
It’d probably be something exquisite and mysteriously glowing (and possibly a little bit alive), so it isn’t something Angua could wear every day, and certainly not while on duty, but when she needs to impress her family and/or show up Sally, it’d do the trick.

2) 8 (Olenna) and 9 (The Doctor) stumble into a mad scientist's lab and are accidentally body-swapped. How do they react?
Olenna is initially a bit disconcerted at having two heartbeats, practically no hair, a truly alarming nose and pair of ears, and a battered leather jacket, but decides that she can roll with it for the moment, although she vows to find the wizard that did this and make him put her back soonest. Until then, though, she decides to use her new form to gather some intel on her enemies without being detected.
The Doctor is similarly disconcerted by the one heartbeat, plentitude of hair, and big floofy skirts. However, he knows exactly what he’s doing when it comes to mad science (the body-swapping was probably due to him tinkering with things he oughtn’t in the first place), and gets them sorted out fairly quickly. They have some fun mocking each other’s voices and mannerisms, before doing so, though, and part friends.

3) 5 (Jayne) and 10 (Lily) have a fight (verbal or physical – up to you) – 12 (Charity) is standing nearby. What does s/he do?
Stand back and smile a little bit, because it’s not every day you get to see a man with arm muscles as big around as most people’s waists turned into a poodle by a 21-year-old pregnant woman. And afterwards, she would sternly lecture Jayne about A) not beating up girls, and B) not whining about it if you get your just desserts when you try.

4) 13 (Morrolan), 7 (Bobby), and 15 (Raoul) go boating. Do they get where they want to be, or are they left high and dry?
They probably do okay. Although Raoul comes from a place called Goldenlake, I don’t think he has any particular experience with boats. Bobby fishes, so he probably has at least an idea of what he’s doing. I really can’t see Morrolan knowing the first thing about boats or sailing, since on the off chance he’s had to travel anywhere by boat before, it would definitely be as a passenger, not a sailor. But between Raoul’s strength, Bobby’s know-how, and Morrolan’s magic, chances are they get where they’re going, although the incident becomes a legendarily funny story when someone who knows them and *actually* knows how to sail (Aly, maybe?), comes across them when Bobby is incomprehensibly bawling orders at all and sundry, Raoul is tangled in a rope with an oar kind of stuck in there somewhere, and Morrolan is sitting in the back, trying to keep his nice robes out of the salt water and bitching about how come he can’t use his magic.

5) 4 (Susan) and 1 (Giles) go camping. Why does 3 (Hank) wander into their campsite and how do they react?
Susan and Giles, who were introduced via Riley and what’s left of the Initiative, are tracking some creature through the forest around Sunnydale. There was a meteor strike recently, so Susan is coming along in case it turns out to be extraterrestrial (also, she doesn’t mind the time Earthside). When a big blue furry guy, bearing similar equipment to theirs, blunders into their camp, they naturally think he’s some sort of troll and/or alien and react accordingly. However, once he looks up from his tracking equipment and notices them, he introduces himself, and reveals that he’s tracking the same whatsit as them, which, it turns out, is a mutant whose, er, mutation is so extreme that he/she was driven out by their family, and now lives feral in the woods, and he’s been sent to collect him/her and take him/her back to the School, where he/she will be accepted.
Since, of course, Hank forgot to bring camping gear of his own, Susan and Giles (well, mostly Giles; Susan is still a little unsure) offer to share their campsite with him for the night, which he gratefully accepts. He and Giles get along great, since the latter reminds the former strongly of a certain other supernaturally-talented British bibliophile Team Dad. Susan doesn’t like the sound of a private army, including two telepaths, a metal-bender, and a shapeshifter, all of whom have cause to be angry at the Powers That Be, but Hank reminds her of Dr. Franklin in a sweet, naïve kind of way, and she warms up to him eventually.

6) 2 (Klia), 7 (Bobby), and 4 (Susan) find themselves in a bar - how'd they get there, what are they drinking and where are they going next?
Klia and Susan are war buddies who stopped in for a drink after Klia got back from her latest sally and Susan got off duty. Bobby, being Bobby, is already there, but budges up to make some room, since, hey, he doesn’t get to talk to many good-looking women in his line of business.
Klia has a good red wine, and has to be reminded that pouring some of it on the floor, even if it is a libation for lost comrades, is highly frowned-upon. Bobby has whisky, of course, followed by more whiskey, and then maybe some whisky. I remember Susan having a drink of choice; I forget what it was, but I remember it being a mixed drink of some kind, so let’s say she has that.
Klia is a lightweight and Bobby’s a hard drinker, so it’s left to Susan to haul their asses home when they fall asleep in the middle of telling increasingly ridiculous (but not necessarily untrue) stories about magic they’ve seen done and their divinely-bothered friends. But Klia lives in an alternate fantasy world and Bobby in North Dakota, so she lets Klia crash at her place and drags Bobby over to Garibaldi to deal with, on the accurate assumption that, after Bobby’s hangover is dealt with, he and Garibaldi will be BFFs.

7) 1 (Giles), 15 (Raoul), and 12 (Charity) take a class together. What are they studying and why?
Either parenting or hand-to-hand combat/self-defense. Although Giles and Raoul don’t have children themselves, Giles is a father-figure to five or six, and Raoul is a mentor/honorary uncle to at least half as many, and because both of their own fathers were rather distant, they feel like they could use a little outside help, especially when it comes to teenage girls who like to get in fights. Charity is either teaching the class, or Molly’s flirtation with dark magic has her questioning some of her parenting choices. Giles takes copious notes (none of which turn out to be helpful, even when he reads them out to Buffy), Raoul is willing but perplexed, and Charity is a little humiliated to be here at all if a student, and patient but no-nonsense if the teacher.
If it’s hand-to-hand combat/self-defense, Giles is tired of getting knocked out all. The. Time. Wearing a helmet and body armor looks silly, and getting kidnapped on a regular basis and having to rely on a gaggle of teenagers for rescue is getting a little embarrassing. This time, Raoul is most likely to be the teacher, but he’d also probably be interested in hand-to-hand, since knights of his generation were only taught how to fight with weapons, and his uncommon size and strength have been serving him well up until now, but Buri has been whooping his ass, and being incapacitated and sat on by a woman a foot shorter and a hundred pounds lighter than you is also pretty embarrassing. Charity is already better than decent at self-defense, but either she’s there with her kids to make sure they actually go (because they sure need to know how to defend themselves, and she doesn’t have the time to teach them all), or she’s playing her abilities down for some reason (acting as bait, perhaps?). Giles does rather well against human opponents, but is aware that batting at people with padded gloves and a facemask is hardly good preparation for a fistfight with demons and vampires. Charity and Raoul have enormous fun sparring and learning from one another’s styles, and get together for drinks and war stories after.

8) 5 (Jayne) and 8 (Olenna) adopt 9 (The Doctor) (as a child). What is their living arrangement, and how does this change 9's life?
Olenna is frankly disgusted, and a little disappointed, by Jayne, and makes him sleep as far away from her and the baby as possible. She’s too old to interest Jayne anyway, but he still resents that she has all these unreasonable rules, like “no hookers or firing guns in the house” and “bathe at least once a week,” and sniffs and looks down her nose whenever she sees him. He is kind of enchanted by her ballsiness, though, which reminds him of his Ma.
Baby!Doctor gets two extreme opposite styles of parenting. If Olenna can’t hire a nurse to raise him, she trains him in courtly values and deception as early as possible. He’ll be rather in awe of her, this awesome unstoppable force of nature that everyone bows down to, and tries to emulate this later in life. From watching Jayne, though (because I can’t see Jayne really taking an interest in his education or anything until he’s old enough to fire a shotgun without the kickback knocking him on his ass), he learns an abhorrence of guns, although he also learns that, while violence is sometimes necessary, a scary reputation and the implicit promise of violence are far more effective. So all in all, he turns out pretty much the same, if maybe a little sneakier and more jaded.

9) Of 11 (Maximus) and 13 (Morrolan), who asks whom to dinner and what do they eat?
Morrolan would ask Maximus to dinner, since A) it wouldn't occur to Maximus, and B) he would make Morrolan bring his own cow anyway, which he gathers is considered rude by human standards (he doesn’t differentiate between humans/Easterners and Dragaerans outside of “tiny” and “less tiny”). Morrolan, on the other hand, would be very interested in not only having a real live Dragon seen at his endless party (I’m assuming that he’d magic Maximus to be able to fit inside without crushing everybody), but in just talking to him, especially about fighting, a topic they both highly enjoy.
As for what they eat: MEAT. Followed by more meat. Exquisitely prepared, of course, because Morrolan certainly isn’t going to have huge haunches of something or other dripping blood all over the floor and other guests, nor is he going to have a live cow or something brought in. Maximus has developed a taste for Gong Su’s style of cooking while running with Temeraire, which Morrolan knows, so whatever it is will be spicy, stewed, and, of course, available in huge quantities. Morrolan finds that Maximus isn’t quite the scintillating conversationalist he’d hoped for, nor the gourmand, and overall secretly wishes he’d invited Temeraire himself instead, although he and Maximus do have some fun talking about glorious battles they’ve been in and the fierce enemies they’ve slain.

10) 3 (Hank) wants to learn something from 10 (Lily). What is it, and how does it go?
Potion-making, maybe? Hank isn’t a wizard, but, by his thinking, potions are just advanced chemistry, and he’s certainly smart enough to comprehend it, if he could find someone to explain it to him who A) would, B) wouldn’t sneer at him while doing so, and C) would do so in a manner he can actually understand. Lily has a soft spot for a scary-looking woobie, and so offers to help him out.
It goes…not successfully, but not badly, either. Hank wanted to find a way to turn him back to, if not human, then not blue, furry, and leonine/sapian, so they don’t achieve this goal, but it’s a very eye-opening experience for him.

11) If 6 (Yavanna) and 14 (Angua) were lovers and then 6 died suddenly and tragically, would 14 turn to dark magic or evil science to bring their beloved back temporarily for a final goodbye/night together? How would 6 react upon waking up again?
First, Angua would be more worried about revenge/defense than resurrection, because whatever’s powerful enough to kill one of the Aratar, and the freakin’ goddess of life and renewal, at that, then it would probably present a rather large problem. But once it had been defeated, Angua is clear-eyed enough to know that knowing that it would bring Yavanna more pain to know that she had upset the order of the universe enough to return the dead to life than to actually be dead. But like I said, Yavanna is the embodiment of the earth, life, and spring, so I’d put good money on her just coming back to life with the changing of the seasons, along with the rest of her realm.

12) 2 (Klia) and 7 (Bobby) are both after the same MacGuffin for mutually exclusive purposes. Who gets it, and how much trouble ensues from the conflict?
My guess is that Klia would get to it first, although not by much. Her friends are a bunch of wizards, thieves, soldiers, and other sneaky and/or heavily-armed magical types, she’d be able to circumvent and/or destroy pretty much whatever obstacle was in her way. (She can also, y’know, command the resources of an entire country, complete with army, navy, and wizards’ school, but given the way these things usually work, a small group might be best.) Bobby has more experience with actually tracking down and acquiring MacGuffins of all varieties, but his resources are limited to Dean, Sam, sometimes Cas, maybe Gabriel, and maybe whatever other hunters he can corral on short notice. But even if they pool all their resources, the result is still pretty limited. Their big guns would be the angels, of course, but it’s been proven that even they can be misdirected/thwarted/hidden from/outright killed, so they’re not as big an advantage as they might seem.

13) 15 (Raoul) and 2 (Klia) turn out to be the biological parents of one other character on the list. Which one is it, and how did the union happen?
Susan, I think. They would definitely raise her in a female-empowered, marital environment, and they’re both leaders and warriors of some note, so I could see them raising her to have all the self-confidence and command ability that she already has.
Raoul/Klia is actually one of the easiest pairings from this list to visualize. Assuming this is pre-Buri and Thero still doesn't have the guts to speak up, Phoria would be looking for a good-but-not-too-good marriage for her little sister, and happen across Raoul. He’s of an excellent family, although not a royal one, he’s not adverse to powerful women, he’s a good soldier, he comes with A) quite a bit of money and B) the ability to sweeten relations between Skala and Tortall, which could lead to a mutually beneficial alliance. But most importantly, he’s a general but not a king, so Phoria would feel secure marrying him off to Klia, knowing that he’s not going to try to usurp her. Klia is kind of meh about the whole idea until she meets him, at which point she realizes that they could work really well together. It’s not love at first sight, but they like and respect each other, they have each other’s backs, and they make each other laugh, so it could definitely develop into love over time.

14) If 6 (Yavanna) started having prophetic/psychic dreams about 1 (Giles) and 12 (Charity)'s passionate affair, how would 6 feel about it?
Worried, because as not only a goddess, but the goddess of fertility, her dreams about this kind of thing are rarely wrong, but splitting up Michael and Charity is an awful idea, and will probably lead to some fairly large-scale destruction once Michael (and perhaps Molly and/or Harry) find out about it and go a-hunting for Giles the apparent homewrecker. In addition, Giles and Charity are very far from each other’s types, so them getting together has to be due to outside forces of some kind. Yavanna would look into love spells, mind control, alternate realities, etc., but would also drop a quiet word to Buffy and Harry to keep an eye on their respective friends, and watch for magically-altered behavior.

15) What does 4 (Susan) privately think about 10 (Lily) that (s)he'd never tell him/her?
It’s not so much a statement as a question, but she would probably ask why, when Voldemort attacked their house, why they didn’t just Apparate out with Harry. She wouldn’t want to make Lily (well, ghost!Lily) look stupid in front of anyone, but for someone who doesn’t understand magic but understands tactics and combat, especially against a vastly more powerful enemy, quite well, it wouldn't make sense to stand and fight someone who could kill you more or less effortlessly. Also, the abandoned child in Susan would absolutely not forgive Lily (and James) for failing to take any and all measures to keep their child from growing up without parents.
16) 11 (Maximus) and 9 (The Doctor) go shopping together - for what?
Something shiny, obviously, and probably on the Doctor’s dime, since he can presumably afford it (also, he can fit in most of the stores). They’re most likely shopping for a gift for someone else, since they don’t need much themselves. A birthday gift for one of the Companions? A baby shower gift for Harcourt? Either way, it will be gloriously shiny, ostentatious, and probably alien in origin, and look useless/decorative, but have some sort of hidden power that protects its owner, which will come in unexpectedly handy.

17) You answer the door to find 13 (Morrolan) standing there. How do you react?
Give him directions and show him how to work the elevator, because the only reason I can think of him showing up in my dorm is some sort of teleportation accident, which would lead to a fair amount of confusion for all involved. Actually, on second thought, I’d take him in and have him sit down and figure out where he’s supposed to be, why he ended up here, and how to get back.

18) 14 (Angua) and 5 (Jayne) are trapped in a lift together. What transpires?
Jayne, predictably, hits on Angua. She rolls her eyes and ignores him at first, but ends up either hitting him in return or transforming (after taking his guns, of course) to make him shut up. Assuming that he isn’t terrified by the whole “werewolf” thing, I could see him trying to get her to bite him, because he would consider being able to transform into a giant wolf would be pretty awesome.

19) A terrible 8 (Olenna)/3 (Hank) versus 1 (Giles)/3 (Hank) shipwar has been waged for many years. What arguments do each side employ? Which side do you come down on?
Olenna/Hank mostly applies to Hank’s years as a senator, where he starts out as Olenna’s protégé, as she knows a bright young thing when she sees one, but their relationship turns interesting when he starts wanting some (decision-making) independence, which Olenna doesn’t like, as he tends towards starry-eyed idealism, so she ends up having to be cruel to be kind, and keeps him under her wing to protect him. Hank just wishes that she would trust him to not screw things up royally. Olenna/Hank shippers employ mainly the “power is sexy” argument, with a good bit of suit!porn and them being legalese-speaking BAMFs together. They point out that Hank needs Olenna to do the politically-necessary dirty work that he can’t bring himself to, and that Olenna needs Hank to get her to open up a little, since she has to be so tightly controlled most of the time, and she needs a place to be herself, and a big furry blue cat-person with prehensile toes certainly isn’t going to be calling her any names. When things get nasty, they would argue that Giles is too much of an idealist himself to be any good for Hank, that the two of them will end up destroying one another.
Giles/Hank, on the other hand, focuses on them as intellectual matches for each other. They’re both sick of having to dumb everything down, and spending all night researching some obscure and difficult subject, only to be met with a “is that all?” They love their teammates, of course, but being stuck as the Smart Guy can start to wear after a little while. It starts as them talking shop whenever they happen to meet up, then corresponding, then visiting. They’re both extremely shy and rather on the proper side, so it takes quite a while, as well as the intervention of a friend or two, to get the ball rolling, but once it does, both teams institute a strict “knock before entering library/lab” policy for the sake of preserving the sanity of all involved. G/H shippers argue that both of them need an intellectual equal in order to blow off some mental steam, that they’re compatible types of geek, that they could mutually emotionally support (and, when necessary, rescue) each other, and that they would be both surprised and gratified to find out that someone could actually meet them, even challenge them, in a way they haven’t been in a long time, as well as compare their various systems of magic/weirdness (depending on what one calls genetics/mutation). When they go up against the O/H shippers, they would point out that Olenna’s “shut up and do as I say” style would only intimidate the naturally retiring Hank.
Me, I think I’d end up on the G/H side. I really think that Olenna would be too much for him to handle. He needs someone kind of sweet and cuddly, two things that the Queen of Thorns definitely isn’t.

20) 13 (Morrolan) and 2 (Klia) ask 11 (Maximus) for a threesome. How do they propose the idea, and how does 11 respond?
Morrolan wants to try out a new spell he found/invented that can turn humans into dragons, or vice-versa, and since Klia helped him come up with/discover it, she should be able to have a hand in the result. It’s Klia who proposes sex, as she canonically has a thing for snarky, imperious, dark-haired wizards, and for a Skalan, the opportunity to do it with a dragon, the manifestation of the god Illior, shouldn’t be passed up. Morrolan isn’t entirely adverse to the idea, especially as he wants to examine the differences between human and dragon reproduction, so he wants to see if a dragon-turned-human is genetically human enough to impregnate a human female. (I’m assuming that, as a Dragaeran, he’s too genetically different from Easterners to get Klia pregnant himself.)
Max is kind of nonplussed at the idea, but humans are always coming up with weird ideas, but it sounds interesting, and it’ll be something he can tell Temeraire about, so he says why not. However, it turns out that his human form is almost identical to that of Micum, one of Klia’s closest friends and father-figures. This, along with the discovery of Morrolan’s proposed impregnation experiment (which, of course, he neglected to tell her about), causes Klia to nix the whole plan and storm off, mad at both of them for various reasons. Maximus doesn’t like the pointy look of Morrolan, so he goes off to find that Micum fellow that Klia mentioned, and they go out so that Maximus can experience getting drunk, which he heartily enjoys. Morrolan is miffed that nobody else wanted to try his experiment, but pleased that his spell worked, although it remains to be seen how transforming Maximus back to human will go.

21) Come up with a great idea for a 8 (Olenna)/4 (Susan) fic! Now make it into a terrible idea by changing one word.
“Great” idea: A mysterious knight crowns a young Olenna the Queen of Love and Beauty; they are both frustrated at the confining gender roles of Westerosi society and deal with it together, but differently: Susan secretly trains as a knight, Olenna works to build a world where neither Susan’s training nor their relationship would have to be a secret.
Terrible idea: Susan secretly trains as a septa. Not only would she make a terrible septa, but it would pretty much kill any idea of Olenna/Susan right from the start.

22) You accidentally sent 14 (Angua) a picture of yourself in the nude with your phone. Should you be worried?
Not unless Nobby has stolen Angua’s phone again. (In which case, yes, I should be very, very worried. Otherwise, nah.)

23) 3 (Hank) and 10 (Lily) are madly in love: describe how they make clear their affection for each other.
She hexes the living crap out of anyone who calls him an animal or a freak, he searches for the genetic cause of magic so that he can induce it in himself, and they worry incessantly while they’re out on missions for their respective teams and can’t accompany one another.

24) 15 (Raoul) is so very depressed. How will 6 (Yavanna) cheer them up?
I have a feeling that Yavanna would be good at cheering people up. Her first option would be to fix whatever’s making him depressed in the first place, and as a goddess, and thus related/married to a variety of other gods and goddesses, between the lot of them, they’ve got a pretty good chance of making it happen.
But if he was just overall bummed, I guess she would take him to Valinor for a little while, and let him relax in her garden (although hunting creatures of evil with Oromë is more his speed, and she certainly wouldn’t say no to that).

25) 7 (Bobby) and 12 (Charity) have to teach a class together...about what?
Parenting in the face of supernatural threats, obviously. They both have sizeable, dramatic, and danger-prone families, whether biological or adopted, and they’re both excellent at managing their children’s various issues while providing a safe place, both physically/magically and emotionally. Actually, Bobby and Charity would make a hell of a team: they don’t take any crap from anyone, but they’re usually content to hold down the home front, unless you hurt/threaten their children, at which point it. Is. Freaking. On.

26) 9 (The Doctor) and 5 (Jayne) have a throwdown. Who wins?
The Doctor. Jayne is a big guy, and certainly not unaccustomed to fighting or adverse to violence, while the Doctor is a beanpole and a pacifist, but c’mon, the guy has over 900 years' worth of hundreds of evil alien empires throwing everything they’ve got at him under his belt. He saved the universe armed only with a jammy dodger. He can end intergalactic wars by introducing himself. He taught a species without the capacity for emotion to feel fear. You just don’t go up against a guy like that and win.

27) 3 (Hank) is off by themselves, eating cake. Why?
The obvious answer that this is just after he’s developed fur, and he’s depressed that he’s gone from “prehensile toes” to “covered in thick blue fur, plus claws and fangs.” But maybe it’s a really awful cake that Raven or Charles or someone else well-meaning but drastically lacking in culinary ability, and everyone else refused to eat it, but Hank is the kind of guy who will eat a friend’s inedible cake and not say that it’s inedible.

28) 1 (Giles), 10 (Lily), 8 (Olenna), and 14 (Angua) are trapped on a remote island. Who declares themself leader and who gets eaten by the angry mob?
Angua, as the resident civil servant, would probably try to take charge, on the assumption that, as the only one trained to manage defense and stressful situations and whatnot, would be best qualified to call the shots. However, Olenna’s pure charisma and people skills would mean that everybody, even Angua, ends up listening to her instead.
As to who gets eaten by the angry mob: um, Giles? His perfectionism and insistence on knowing ABSOLETELY EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF A SITUATION before taking any action at all might get wearing after a while, especially in an enclosed environment, where snap decisions are often necessary.

29) Between 9 (The Doctor) and 4 (Susan), which one would be more likely to prefer a magic mirror for communication?
The Doctor, I think. Babylon 5 already has video communication, which is kinda close to magic mirrors, but I can’t see Susan trusting her conversations, especially when they contain important information, to something so unfamiliar to her, and possibly sentient to boot. The Doctor, on the other hand, is pretty much living proof that sufficiently advanced science is indistinguishable from magic, so I could see him being a lot more comfortable with the whole concept. Also, he would get into getting to know the mirror, figuring out its personality, how it works, etc. Also, as with any weird gadget, he just has fun playing with it.

30) 2 (Klia) and 11 (Maximus) get attacked by dinosaurs. What do they do?
Maximus is at least comparable in size and shape to pretty much any kind of dinosaur, so he would probably be able to fight it off or, failing that, fly away. Either way, he would do his best to protect Klia, who strongly resembles Harcourt.

31) 5 (Jayne) writes a novel. What is it about?
This. Sadly, I couldn’t find a clip, so I had to use the Wikipedia description, but, yeah, if Jayne were to write a novel, it would sound pretty much exactly like this. (Basically, really bad sci-fi porn.)

32) If 12 (Charity) and 6 (Yavanna) go out to dinner, where do they go, what do they order, and who pays?
Somewhere in Chicago, most likely, as the Undying Lands would be a little much for Charity to handle, and Chicago has some good restaurants anyway. Charity would recommend somewhere vegetarian/vegan, as she would (rightly) guess that Yavanna’s tastes lie in that direction (no pun intended).
Yavanna orders a light salad with hibiscus blossoms, lemon zest, mint, stuff like that. You know, something unconventional, springy, and unexpectedly tasty, even though it has so many weird ingredients that one would have never ever thought of putting in a salad before trying them. Charity, who I can see cooking up a protein-heavy storm for her enormous family plus extras on a regular basis, is initially suspicious of a menu entirely free of meat, and possibly even of animal products altogether, but Yavanna convinces her to order the vegan mac’n’cheese, or possibly leek and potato soup, which Charity is surprised to find herself greatly enjoying.
Charity probably ends up paying. I don’t think that money as a concept is something that Yavanna is familiar with (I don’t think the Undying Lands ever developed much of a market economy, especially a cash-based one), so exchanging little bits of metal and/or paper and/or plastic for the meal they just ate would seem fairly weird to her. Also, as a goddess, I’m sure that her innate aura of divinity or whatever might prompt their server to offer their meal to be on the house, but Charity would absolutely insist on paying, because that’s what Charity does.

33) Who does 7 (Bobby) think is cuter, 13 (Morrolan) or 15 (Raoul)? Do either of them think that 7 is cute? 
Raoul, probably. If we take the Bobby/Crowley scene to have been played straight, instead of for comic relief, then I think it’s safe to assume that Bobby’s type tends towards beefy, bearded, and sardonic, which is a fairly good description of Raoul. I could see Bobby being interested in Morrolan on an intellectual level, but A) Morrolan is a little too willowy, long-haired, and all-around fey to really be Bobby’s type, and B) the two of them would get on each other’s nerves like nobody’s business.
Morrolan definitely wouldn’t think that Bobby, a shabby, thickset, heavily bearded Easterner starting to show his age, attractive. Raoul, also, is attracted to a more compact, scrappy type, so while he and Bobby might make good drinking buddies (although they both need to watch their alcohol intake), I can’t really see them as a couple.

34) 13 (Morrolan) got caught cheating on 3 (Hank) with 4 (Susan). How do they react?
Hank, of course, would be devastated. Aside from the obvious body image issues, he has severe power/competency issues, and could take Morrolan, a powerful, charismatic, fascinating, all-around brilliant wizard apparently dumping him like last week’s trash for an equally charismatic military officer as reinforcement of the idea that, even if he weren’t blue and furry, he’s too meek and mild-mannered to hold on to anyone interesting.
Morrolan wouldn’t see it as cheating so much as getting a wider sample, and would be confused and a bit annoyed at Hank for getting his panties in a bunch over it. I’m not sure where Dragaerans stand on monogamy, but outside of marriage or other contractual bonds, I guess I can see a sort of perpetually open relationship unless otherwise specified being the Dragaeran norm. Of course, this clashes directly with Hank’s worldview; so honestly, I don’t see how they got this far in the first place.
Although Susan suspected that Morrolan wasn’t single in the human/Easterner sense of the word, having it confirmed would get her fairly angry at him, albeit mostly on Hank’s behalf. This was just a one-night stand for her (hey, he’s a dashing, attractive man with access to really really cool weaponry!), so she wasn’t too emotionally invested and thus doesn’t get too fussed on her own account, and Morrolan never technically lied to her, but she would definitely see him not mentioning Hank as bad form.

35) 9 (The Doctor) and 14 (Angua) find out they are long lost twins. How do they get to know each other?
I guess that Angua was sort of a Superman situation where her and the Doctor’s parents used the Chameleon Arch on her to disguise her as a human (which, obviously, wasn’t a complete success) and sent her somewhere else, anywhere else, to escape the Time War. There are a zillion and one things that can disrupt a Chameleon Arch transformation, though, and with Discworld being what it is, I’m sure her real nature would come to light sooner or later.
So the TARDIS picks up another Time Lord/Lady signature, hijacks the Doctor, and summarily deposits him in the middle of Ankh-Morpork (so, basically, business as usual). He then wanders around for a few hours, being his usual interested-in-absolutely-everything-the-weirder-the-better self, and is picked up by the Watch for disturbing the peace in one way or another, which he shouldn’t find hard to do. He finally meets up with Angua back at the station.

36) What would 6 (Yavanna) and 2 (Klia) do on their first date?
Yavanna would be all for showing Klia all the wonders of the Undying Lands, but, and this is putting aside the question of whether an unprepared human mind could handle them when they’re specifically not for humans, Yavanna has probably never heard the saying “don’t do anything on your first date that will be hard to top on the second.” Also, Klia is too busy essentially running the country while Phoria is off commanding Skala’s armies, so I guess that Klia would give Yavanna a tour of the Oreskä gardens. Yavanna would love that it’s always springtime there, of course, and the chance to meet so many new kinds of people and learn new music would just be icing on the cake.

37) 7 (Bobby) and 15 (Raoul) are getting married! Who are the best man and maid of honor (or best men, maids of honor, etc., etc.)? What is their wedding song?
Lol, I guess that Raoul really did like Bobby back! Bobby’s Best Man is Dean, with Sam (who’s a little miffed that Dean got asked to be Best Man instead of him) and Cas (who’s more than usually perplexed at the whole undertaking) as groomsmen. Raoul would probably ask Jon to be his Best Man, with Alanna, Gary, Alex, Francis, and maybe even Kel as groomsmen/bridesmaids, depending on how gender-neutral he wants to get.

38) 8 (Olenna) and 1 (Giles) get caught in a burning building. Which one does 11 (Maximus) save first?
Olenna, probably. She would not at all be above playing the “helpless little old lady” card, would be smart enough to position herself near or in a window, and Maximus is enough of a Regency gentleman (gentledragon?) to know a damsel in distress when he sees one. I’m not saying he wouldn’t go back for Giles, and considering that this is Maximus we’re talking about, he shouldn’t have any trouble saving them both at once, but if he had to choose just one, it would most likely be Olenna.

39) 12 (Charity) finds out that they're related to 5 (Jayne). What's their response?
“Thank God that the kids took after Michael’s side of the family!”

40) 10 (Lily) and 7 (Bobby) are on a date. Who pays?
I can see them going Dutch. Bobby is enough of a gentleman to offer to pay, but he’s practical enough (and knows enough women who have zero time for all this chivalry bullshit) to be totally okay with going halfsies. Lily, also, would be more annoyed than charmed by Bobby trying to play the gentleman, and would see him being okay with them splitting the bill as a sign of respect for her as something other than a lady fair.

41) 3 (Hank) and 15 (Raoul) are stuck in traffic and arguing over the radio...who wins and what do they listen to?
Well, Hank, because Raoul wouldn't know what a radio is, or recognize any of the music or topics up for debate if he did. But Hank is definitely the shy, retiring, “I want to do whatever you want to do” type, while Raoul is much more used to giving orders and having his word be law, so once Hank explained the whole concept to him, I could see Raoul coming across some old-school rock of the Metallica or AC/DC flavor, and stopping there, which Hank wouldn’t at all be adverse to.

42) 2 (Klia) and 10 (Lily) are getting married. Describe the ceremony. 13 (Morrolan) is the 'maid' of honor, what do they make of it? 9 (The Doctor) is giving the 'bride' away. Why? 11 (Maximus) is the best 'man'. What do they think of it? 12 (Charity) has been secretly in love with one of them for years, and they stop the wedding at "any objections." What is their objection? How is the situation resolved?
I guess Morrolan and Lily are both technically witches, so he could be her Maid of Honor. She would, of course, have enormous amounts of fun going through hideous bridesmaid dresses for him to wear. He secretly considers Lily, a pure Easterner, and not a highborn one at that, a bit beneath Princess Klia, second in line for the throne of Skala, but is smart enough to keep his mouth shut about this, as he wants to study Lily’s magic.
It’s entirely possible that the Doctor made a visit or two to Hogwarts (it’s exactly his kind of place), and Lily is exactly the type he usually takes on as Companion, so they would get along. Given their respective ages, I could see him acting as a sort of mentor/father-figure to her, so, if her own parents can’t/won’t, he would be more than willing to step in. Of course, him acting in a parental role, now that his own children and grandchildren are so recently dead, would be rather bittersweet, but given the circumstances, this might actually be a step in the healing process.
Klia asking Maximus to be her Best Man was originally a political move, as showing up accompanied by a huge freakin' dragon is pretty much guaranteed to impress, but after the aforementioned "human!Maximus = Micum" thing, with Micum being the closest thing Klia has to a still-living father figure, I could see her being comfortable with him. Also, Max is chuffed that it's the best man's job to look after the rings until they can be given to the ringbearer, although he has a little bit of trouble with that last part.
Charity secretly regrets suppressing her own magic while Lily nurtured hers, especially because it meant creating a rift between the two of them. She objects because she thinks it's a political marriage set up to inject some magical blood back into the Skalan royal line, and she doesn't want to see Lily used as a brood mare (which is kind of ironic, given her eventual part in the whole Chosen One thing). But once Lily manages to convince her that yes, it really is a love match, Charity leaves.

43) 1 (Giles), 14 (Angua), and 5 (Jayne) are in a love triangle of some kind. Who loves who? How is it resolved?
I guess Giles and Jayne are both into Angua: Giles is intrigued by her lycanthropy and can-do attitude, while Jayne is just turned on by a woman who can kick his ass. However, things quickly turn bitter: Giles considers Jayne a barely-sentient, violent boor, and thus completely unworthy of Angua’s attentions, while Jayne thinks that Giles is basically Simon except old and not as useful for patching one up after a fight.
Angua is just sort of impatient with both of them, as she ends up spending a lot of time arresting Jayne and hauling Giles out of trouble as they both try increasingly spectacular/dangerous ways to impress her and/or remove the competition. In the end, she introduces Carrot to both of them, at which point Giles takes the hint, shakes hands with them both, and heads back to Sunnydale. Jayne, however, requires a little more convincing, but between the two of them, they come up with the idea of just calling Serenity and having Jayne’s crew pick him up.

44) 6 (Yavanna) gets drunk and confesses something to 4 (Susan). What is it, and how do they both react?
First, wow, it would take a lot of Dorwinion to get Yavanna drunk. But if that much booze exists in the world, Susan would make a good, sympathetic drinking partner. I could see Yavanna admitting that she’s kind of jealous of Vána, who can run around with deer and birds and flowers and just have fun, while Yavanna is responsible for making everything grow, collecting the light of the Two Trees once upon a time, and just generally making sure that everything runs smoothly, while Vána has a lot more freedom. This wouldn’t be a big thing, however, as Yavanna’s personality is generally a lot better suited to responsibility than Vána’s.

45) 8 (Olenna) and 2 (Klia) are on their first date (or first date in a while). They are interrupted, in this order, by 5 (Jayne), 12 (Charity), 10 (Lily), 12 again, 11 (Maximus) and 13 (Morrolan) who are together, and 15 (Raoul). What does each of these interrupting characters want and how do 8 and 2 feel?
Let’s say “first big important business meeting” instead of “first date” because these two would make one hell of a ruling team/business partners, but a flat-out awful couple.
So they’re probably at the classiest, most expensive restaurant either of them can find, eating something exquisite and planning to trade Skalan wizards to help in the Tyrell takeover for Westerosi soldiers to help Skala in the Plenimaran Wars. Inara is also there with a client, but has been getting some threats lately, so brought Jayne along as a bodyguard, because A) she could get him for cheap and on short notice, B) he was driving everybody on Serenity crazy, C) he looks imposing, and D) they both know that Mal would shove Jayne out an airlock if he actually let anything happen to her. But Jayne in a fancy restaurant is just about the worst idea in the history of bad ideas. He gets roaring drunk by ordering half the wine list (hey, Inara’s client is paying!), and, predictably, gets belligerent and starts stumbling around and hollering. Klia isn’t bad-looking, as long as you don’t mind a few missing fingers, so Jayne would stumble over to their table and attempt to hit on her. Of course, Jayne isn’t the smoothest of operators at the best of times, and after the equivalent of several hundred dollars’ worth of wine, Olenna and Klia are more or less repulsed by him. Eventually he gets thrown out by the restaurant staff, although it does take three of them.
The entire Carpenter clan (plus Harry, Thomas, Murphy, etc.) is taking Charity out for her birthday/Mother’s Day/her and Michael’s anniversary, and decided to splurge on somewhere really nice. Which Charity appreciates, of course, but when some kind of monster comes busting in looking for Harry/Thomas/Molly/Michael/other the way one always seems to do, it does make a bit more of a scene than if they had just gone to Burger King or Denny’s or something. This, understandably, causes quite a disturbance, and Klia leaps in to help save the day, albeit armed with a salad fork. Olenna rolls her eyes at the heroics and sips her wine, occasionally using her menu to shield herself from flying bits of food and/or monster.
Lily and James are there spending some of that endless Potter gold, and when the aforementioned monster bursts in, they help fend it off. They all get to talking afterwards, and although Klia has to go back to her exquisite dinner/srs bzns meeting with Olenna (who is still rolling her eyes, btw), the Potters and extended Carpenter clan end up sitting together, and Lily decides that Harry is a great name for a wizard.
Of course Molly and Harry are both ASOIAF fans, and thus far, far too shy to actually go up to Olenna and Klia and say hi, now that the monster is dealt with. Molly finally prevails on her mom to talk to them on their behalf, so she goes over to ask for the famous Queen of Thorns’ autograph. I don’t think autographing exists in Westeros, so Charity would have to explain it, with an exasperated smile of apology on her daughter’s behalf, and then she and Olenna get to talking about how silly girls can be when they’re young, with more than a few pointed glances in Klia’s direction.
Morrolan and Maximus have been thrown together so many times in this meme, they’ve come to enjoy each other’s rather bloodthirsty company, and are having a bro’s night out. Maximus has to sit out on the patio, of course, but he sticks his head in through the French doors to be able to talk to Morrolan. They arrive fashionably late for dinner, though, and pretty much everybody is rather shocked by the arrival of a 25-ton red dragon and what appears to be a Tolkienian Elf. Klia, of course, is absolutely cool with Morrolan, as she believes him to be just an unusually tall Aürenfaie, and with Max, as she’s not unfamiliar with ‘faie dragons, which are enormously rare, powerful, and revered in both Skalan and ‘faie society. This leads to her thinking that this is some sort of diplomatic event, and goes over to do her princessly duty. Olenna, who’s intimidated by the sudden arrival of an honest-to-god Dragon, goes with her to see what’s what. Both Morrolan and Maximus set the ladies to rights quickly enough, but Morrolan is a little bored of Maximus’ conversation, and so welcomes a rousing socio-political debate with a princess and, basically, a dowager queen.
Raoul is there, under extreme duress, with some other Tortallan nobles. He is severely uncomfortable with all the swank, and is a little pissed off that he missed the monster fight. Even now, he kind of wants to join the loud, chaotic, obviously-having-fun Carpenter/Dresden/Raith/Murphy/Potter table, but feels that it’s his duty to grin and bear it with his own party, even the stuffy elitist ones he doesn’t like. Also, Alanna keeps kicking him under the table, and she knows how to make it hurt. Anyway, Klia is getting pretty tired by this point, so she and Raoul share conspiratorial/long-suffering smiles over their various companions’ shoulders. (Also, random bit of headcanon: Raoul and Vimes would be really great friends/colleagues, especially because they both detest events like these and could join each other behind the curtains before being dragged out by their respective significant others.)
At the end of the evening, not an awful lot of work on the proposed Tyrell/Skala alliance got done, but a few interesting new connections were made and a memorable, if nothing else, night was had by all.

Comments

[hamsterwoman]

It’d probably be something exquisite and mysteriously glowing (and possibly a little bit alive),

Hee! I like the idea of Yavanna getting Aule to make it -- it sounds very them :)

since knights of his generation were only taught how to fight with weapons, and his uncommon size and strength have been serving him well up until now, but Buri has been whooping his ass, and being incapacitated and sat on by a woman a foot shorter and a hundred pounds lighter than you is also pretty embarrassing

Heh.

he still resents that she has all these unreasonable rules, like “no hookers or firing guns in the house” and “bathe at least once a week,” and sniffs and looks down her nose whenever she sees him. He is kind of enchanted by her ballsiness, though, which reminds him of his Ma.

Hee, this is a great combination (and by "great" I mean "hilariously awful" XD)

I can’t see Jayne really taking an interest in his education or anything until he’s old enough to fire a shotgun without the kickback knocking him on his ass

Sounds about right to me! XD

Your "Jayne writes a novel" answer was hilarious and spot on, too XD

Love the description of Charity and Yavanna's outing to a vegan restaurant, too.

hey, he’s a dashing, attractive man with access to really really cool weaponry!),

Heh. Ivanova/Morrolan would never have occurred to me on my own, but I could totally see it as a casual thing/one night stand.

(Dragaerans do seem to be fairly casual about lovers, although it's a bit hard to tell, given that the only inside view we get is a highly stylized one...)

Also, Max is chuffed that it's the best man's job to look after the rings until they can be given to the ringbearer, although he has a little bit of trouble with that last part.

LOL. And also awww!

Olenna rolls her eyes at the heroics and sips her wine, occasionally using her menu to shield herself from flying bits of food and/or monster.

I can very readily imagine this situation, heh.

the Potters and extended Carpenter clan end up sitting together, and Lily decides that Harry is a great name for a wizard.

Very nicely played! :D

Morrolan and Maximus did end up together a whole lot in this meme, weren't they. I do think, as you say, the two of them would get along decently well for a little bit at a time, but that Morrolan would want some more intellectual conversation before long.

This was a very fun bunch of characters in general, and a thoroughly enjoyed reading your answers.

I'm working on my next Dreamwidth-harvested batch of this never-ending random character meme myself, and as you say, it's very fun to be able to do a couple of questions here and there in between stuff that needs to get done.

[lunasariel.livejournal.com]

I like the idea of Yavanna getting Aule to make it -- it sounds very them :)
Yup! Especially because Aule would love the excuse to tinker and experiment with fiddly little bits of metal and magic. I really liked the way Yavanna turned out in a lot of these, especially this and the vegan restaurant one! I was initially unsure about using Valar in this meme, as they're all usually very Moral and Upstanding and All-Powerful, and thus potentially no fun for meme-generated shenanigans, but I liked the way it turned out!

Hee, this is a great combination (and by "great" I mean "hilariously awful" XD)
Isn't it, though? Olenna and Jayne working together for any reason has the potential to be downright unstoppable and terrifying, or just a huge, entertaining trainwreck, or even both!

Ivanova/Morrolan would never have occurred to me on my own, but I could totally see it as a casual thing/one night stand.
Yeah, I can't see these two in a long-term relationship, but they would make one hell of a couple in the short term!

This was a very fun bunch of characters in general, and a thoroughly enjoyed reading your answers.
Thanks! I love how endlessly inventive these memes are, and it's pretty much impossible to *not* have tons of fun with them, so they're always good for a quick pick-me-up and a chuckle.

I'm working on my next Dreamwidth-harvested batch of this never-ending random character meme myself
Yay! Keep 'em coming! ^.^