The Return of the Meme

[lunasariel]

I'm still deep in the clutches of A Song of Ice and Fire and I'd rather not blog about it until I've finished it, but since I want to post *something* to let the world know that I'm still alive, have a meme! This one is more person-oriented and less fandom-oriented; whether this is a plus or a minus is still to be decided. One note, though: I did this a few months ago, during my London sojurn, so if some of the answers seem odd or nonsensical, this is probably why.

• Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

• I don’t want to go out with you. I’m sorry, but I don’t. I’m just not over my last boyfriend yet, and it’s not fair to go out with you when I don’t find you attractive.
• You’re overly negative, and you love to find reasons to argue. It actually is possible that people can have differing opinions from you without you having to tear them a new one. I’m tired of having to either fight to defend my point or shut up and agree. Also, you take everything way too personally. Sometimes people have bad days, are thinking of something else, or just aren’t thinking at all, and say or do something rude. That isn’t a justification for you to release a torrent of vitriol on someone, especially when you ask for so much leniency yourself.

• I actually don’t know how I feel about going back to you and everyone else. Sometimes I feel like you’re only my best friend because I don’t know any better ones and we’ve already been friends for such a long time. I don’t like feeling responsible for you, and I don’t like the feeling that you couldn’t or wouldn’t do for me what I’ve done for you.
• I miss you. I’m just now realizing how much I want to be like you. Even with all your setbacks, I don’t know a single person who doesn’t look up to you and speak well of you. You’re everything I want to be: self-possessed, wickedly intelligent, erudite, an animal lover, “beloved by all,” financially secure, and beautiful at all stages of life. I really don’t know what I’m going to do without you, but I know that the day is going to come, and come much sooner than I’d like, that I’m going to have to consider that.

• I’m still in love with you. I’m sorry, and I know I shouldn’t be, but I am. I don’t think you know (in fact, I dearly hope you don’t), because I don’t want to be the pathetic, weepy ex-girlfriend. The simple fact is that you were the best thing I ever had, and I wasn’t good enough to keep you. I was afraid that when you moved away, you would realize that you could do better than me, and that’s exactly what you did, even though you didn’t want to say it.
• I worry about you. You’re the rock that everyone leans on, the shoulder that everyone cries on. You’ve devoted so much of your life to taking care of other people that I’m afraid you haven’t left any time for yourself. I know that you tend to conceal negative emotions under a happy, jokey exterior, but it really isn’t healthy to bottle things up like that. I’m not sure how much good I’ll be, but I wish you’d let me, or someone else, help you.

• You are one of the many people I’m explicitly not looking forward to seeing when I get back. I think you’re immature, horny, and more than a bit stupid. You creep me out. Please leave me alone.
• I know you would probably find this a useless sentiment at best, but I’m so sorry for what’s happened to you. You don’t deserve the hand that you’ve been dealt. In fact, you deserve just the opposite. You’ve made me very happy when I really needed it, and (probably) millions of people around the world could say the same. If I were you, I would be terrified and angry right now. Hell, you probably are. I’ve never met you, but I love you all the same.

• You can do so much better than what you are. You deserve pretty much every award you’re nominated for, but the Romance Times? Really? The Romance Times awards committee couldn’t pronounce half the words you use, let alone spell them. And that just goes for the English words. I can recognize that your works have their share of flaws (what novel doesn’t?), but you deserve better than this.
• I was honestly surprised at how much I liked you. I like your sense of humor, and you have good taste in food/entertainment/pets. I’ll probably never see you again, or at least not for a long time, but I’m glad that I got to meet you.

• Day Two: Nine things about yourself.

• I am afraid of seafood, writer’s block, and zombies.
• I reject your reality and substitute my own.

• I’m actually not all that original.
• Condescension annoys me.

• I read mostly fantasy and sci-fi, with occasional forays into historical and contemporary fiction.
• I am an introvert.

• I can be kind of a bitch sometimes, but only very occasionally.
• Even though I don’t mean to, I end up taking care of people a lot.

• I wish I could be more assertive.

• Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.

• Give me any flower but roses. Seriously.
• Tell me that I remind you of Éowyn (and not because of hair color).

• Know when I want company and when I want to be left alone.
• Challenge me intellectually.

• Be just a little bit of an ass sometimes.
• Kiss me unexpectedly.

• Fall asleep with me and wake up with me.
• Don’t just tell me I’m beautiful and/or you love me; make me believe it.

• Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

• Fanfic ideas.
• Epic narration of my life.

• Snarky comments that I wish I were brave enough to say out loud.
• Grocery/To Do list.

• More fanfic ideas.
• Book/movie/TV show reviews.

• Imaginary conversations.

• Day Five: Six things you wish you'd never done.

• Said mean things about that one other girl in Girl Scouts.
• Gone out with T.

• Gone out with D.H.
• Cried like a girl in front of J. when he and I broke up.

• Not applied to college straight out of high school.
• Agreed to play D&D 3.5 (maybe).

• Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).

• Mom
• Peter

• Granny
• Professor Tolkien

• Benjamin Franklin

• Day Seven: Four turn-offs.

• Twilight fan
• Misogyny (see above)

• Homophobia
• Anti-animal/civil rights

• Day Eight: Three turn-ons.

• Intelligence
• Tall/lithe/dark hair/striking eyes

• Sweet (but still snarky)

• Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.

• I love this grim, beautiful, mysterious, magical city I’m in, all the more so because I’m only here for a few more days.

• Because for pretty much the first time in my life, I have a wide circle of friends who are not acknowledged as fellow social outcasts. They’re quirky and I may not like everything about them, but I’m glad to have them.

• Day Ten: One confession.

• I don’t like my friends as much as I think I should.

Comments

[brit-columbia.livejournal.com]

It must have been very interesting for you to re-read this after you came back from the UK and reconnected with your friends!

[lunasariel.livejournal.com]

Yep, it was fascinating to take a look back at where I was, and compare it to where I am now. Actually, posting this has made me pretty nostalgic for London.