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lunasariel Well, the custody battle (whoops! I mean "ongoing disagreement") has flared up again, and this time, it looks like it's my fault. I was talking to Hollie yesterday, and I guess I indicated that I didn't go away to college because I felt like I needed to stay and take care of Anna because Mom is doing a bad job of it (which she isn't), Dad called Mom on it, and now it seems as though everyone is mad at me. I was effing scared, okay?! I don't like to say it, but here it is. I don't do well with most people, what with the talking funny, looking/dressing funny, and generally being weird, and I guess I wanted to put off leaving what support networks I have for another year. The idea of living completely on my own, in an unfamiliar city, entirely responsible for my own health, schedule, and finances is a bit daunting. I'll be at an even greater disadvantage than normal.
The problem here is that I'm getting sick and tired of policing my every word spoken to one parent, step-parent, or step-sibling about the other side of the family. I just want them both to recognize that they're both doing, and have done, a great job of raising us three (or six, depending on which house you're at) kids, and there's no need for all of this contention and finger-pointing. Whenever I talk to anyone, I have to choose my words, tone, gestures, and any other means of communication, verbal or not, to avoid a fight. And when I go full steam ahead and damn the torpedoes, something like this happens.
The really sad thing is that none of this needs to happen. Despite being remarkably busy, active people with a ton of concerns on their minds, Mom and Dad both are wonderful people, each with his or her own unique parenting style, and I wouldn't trade either of them for the world. But try telling them that. I know that both of them just want what's best for us, but really, going on 11 years of this bickering and cold war tactics is getting pretty old.
I just wish I could sort this whole thing out, once and for all. I wish Mom and Dad could see that they have no reason to fight, and Anna's problems should be worked out with compassion and cooperation, not with blaming and resentment.
Bleh. It isn't going to work; the best I can hope for is a return to our previous state of oh-so-polite not-quite-animosity.
The problem here is that I'm getting sick and tired of policing my every word spoken to one parent, step-parent, or step-sibling about the other side of the family. I just want them both to recognize that they're both doing, and have done, a great job of raising us three (or six, depending on which house you're at) kids, and there's no need for all of this contention and finger-pointing. Whenever I talk to anyone, I have to choose my words, tone, gestures, and any other means of communication, verbal or not, to avoid a fight. And when I go full steam ahead and damn the torpedoes, something like this happens.
The really sad thing is that none of this needs to happen. Despite being remarkably busy, active people with a ton of concerns on their minds, Mom and Dad both are wonderful people, each with his or her own unique parenting style, and I wouldn't trade either of them for the world. But try telling them that. I know that both of them just want what's best for us, but really, going on 11 years of this bickering and cold war tactics is getting pretty old.
I just wish I could sort this whole thing out, once and for all. I wish Mom and Dad could see that they have no reason to fight, and Anna's problems should be worked out with compassion and cooperation, not with blaming and resentment.
Bleh. It isn't going to work; the best I can hope for is a return to our previous state of oh-so-polite not-quite-animosity.
